An Ode to My Mother

......

I cry when I think of mom,
Nags everyday when I didn’t do my chores;
I was such a lazy dog back then,
I know she’s worried I’ll grow up bone-idle

I cry when I think of mom,
Spanked me so hard when she apprehended my first smoke;
I wasn’t thinking… I was a big dickhead then,
I know she did that out of concern

I cry when I think of mom,
Kept mum after seeing my college card with only two-passed grades;
I was so lost and irresponsible, still young and wild,
I know she trusted me I could recuperate

I cry when I think of mom,
Weeps in the corner, worried how she'd pay the bulk of school bills;
We were three siblings, synchronously attending the university,
I know she’d done everything she can to make ends meet

I cry when I think of mom,
Takes good care of me when I am sick;
I feel her heavy heart, absorbs to ease the pain,
She just takes care of anything

I cry when I think of mom,
Kissed my cheek when I introduced my first girlfriend;
Could it be, it proved I don’t mess around?
I know she was happy for me

I cry when I think of mom,
Hid her tears on my wedding day;
To end up all my miseries and wicked ways,
I know she was certain I’ll be in good hands

I cry when I think of mom,
Phones us everyday just to check how we’re doing;
Until now she worries about everything,
I know she misses her kids on her side...we are her babies

I smile when I think of mom,
To this great occasion, I’d like to speak my heart;
A stupendous mother, a great lady so strong and confident,
I love you everyday, God blesses you on your Birthday...

My Perfect Day

It's my birthday today...yes, I know, I am getting older or shall we say advanced in the course of existence. Mas magandang pakinggan. Anyone wants to guess my age?!
 

 

Thoroughfare of Dreams

I ‘ve known Mardk for quite sometime in the blogsphere and I kinda compliment him for the way he expresses himself. No fuzziness in his writing, straightforward and from what I read, puts music as one of his emotion of regard. Am I right, bro?...hehehe. But for the first time…I must disagree with you, I don’t feel I am a veteran with metal riffs. Magagalit nyan si namayapang "Dimebag" Darrel, one of the respected axeman in the scene. But thanks for the mention, bro…nabigla ako sa post mo at sa pangalan ko.

I’ve been playing the guitar for quite a while…started caressing the frets at the age of twelve or thirteen (if my memory serves me right) with an original Cebu acoustic brought home by my bisayang uncle. The first song that I first tried was the “Ako’y Isang Pinoy” by apo Florante with a D-A-G-A perpetual chords. I was so hooked on folk and country songs then with the likes of Peter,Paul & Mary, Bob Dylan, Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell, CSNY…a lot of them. And I was hooked on guitars that I wouldn’t miss a practice for a day.

Second year high school when my dad bought me my first album…a KISS “Alive II” double live album and that was the start on my metal addiction per se (si daddy kasi, siguro nakita niya kahiligan ko)…sinundot pa nya ng ibili nya ako ng second-hand na electric guitar…it was the time of playing like there was never tomorrow. Everyone in the house hated me for the dissonance but that was what I like…and I’ve dreamt of being a rockstar…hahaha, ambisyosong pagong si metal. But I was a kid then. Prior to college, i’ve tried getting an exam for the UP with a dream of taking up the conservatory of music pero di kaya ng utak, bagsak sa entrance and that was my first frustration. It ended me taking up engineering in Baguio but that did not stop and frustrate me with my guitars…I’ve considered music as my life then…and heavy metal at that time was prospering and propagated by Sabbath, Priest, Whitesnake, Dokken, Maiden and the like…the era of sex, drugs and rock & roll which fuelled the young and the restless, the era of free spirit and crossing a lot borderlines. Pinoy Rock and Rhythm dominated the air thru the DzRJ 810 with Howlin Dave, Stoney Burke and others at the captain's cockpit...some of the legends Maria Kapra, Chikoy Pura's The Jerks, Anakbayan's late great progressive drummer, Edmund "Bosyo" Fortuno were sending shivers to the worried mothers of the rebellious spirits of their sons and daughters.

Up to now, as much as possible I practice with a minimum of 3 hours daily…it would complete my day. I do a lot of sweep picking, appregios with Down Up Down Down, etc, low to high, over and over just to improve the speed and practice the pinky or the small finger in a 120-bpm funky-fusion metronome. Bro…try to learn the licks in small chunks. Try to break up what you’re learning in small pieces. You’ll discover that you’ll get a lot farther that way and it is easier to connect many little bits into a bigger piece than to swallow a big piece all at once. Practice is the key…what is important is to find a healthy balance of discipline and the desire to play.

Metallica…uhhmmm, I once loved them but when they started to become commercialized...completely gone are the heavy riffs and speed demon guitar solos, replaced by short, simple, catchy little ditties, I started shying away…Sandman was the last song I liked. Blind Guardian, Iced Earth and Edguy are some of the awesome bands I like…the underrated, underground masters.

Bro, one thing I could share: Even though we see guitar as our life’s focal point, have fun with it and try to experience the music as something beautiful without weighing it down with unnecessary seriousness. Music is fun. You are one of the best, bro!

The Deepest Fear

I had another scare of my life yesterday night...right after dinner, namilipit sa sakit ng tiyan ang anim na taon kung bunso. He can't stand straight and had to curl his body, maybe to ease his pain. I had to rush him to the hospital...buti na lang naisipan ko pang makapagpalit ng shorts, nakapantulog na rin ka shorts kasi ako nun (erotic kasi dating ng short shorts). Taranta rin ako sa mga ganung sitwasyun.

I drove the car like Schumacher's Ferrari and in a few minutes nasa ospital na kami. I was so damn worried and confused....i hate seeing any of my family taken to a place for the sick. Ewan, I really hate hospitals (but not doctors, of course). One anecdote i had: My wife had a miscarriage on her first pregnancy, she had a spotting and i had to rush her to a hospital. She was checked by the OB and declaired: " kailangan na nating i-raspa". I asked my mother-in-law the meaning of raspa (it was the first time i heard of that word) and i was shocked to hear it was a forced abortion...nakunan pala asawa ko. And i collapsed right in front of the doctor...namutla ako at hinimatay. Natatawa ang ibang pasyente, paano, imbes na misis ko ang asikasuhin para sa operasyon, eto ako't nakahiga sa hospital, iniintindi ng nurse with matching ammonia to wake my senses. Lumakas lang ang loob ko ng sinabi ng misis ko na ok lang...kaya nya at huwag mag-alala.

Going back to my son...funny thing is, pagdating sa hospital, biglang tumayo at sinabing "ok na ako, nawala na sakit...uwi na tayo". I felt a big relief, i thought it was appendicitis or other things (tinatamaan ba ang bata sa sakit na ganito?) but he was still checked by the doctor and found nothing. Yun pala, nung hapon, siniko siya ng kanyang kalaro. Siguro me nasaktan sa internals nya. But he's ok..so much so, i would also be ok. I get sick when somebody i love is sick, ewan. And i get some shivers each time i step in a hospital.

I would always pray for the health of my family, diyan ako mahina pag me isa sa kanila me sakit.